Family Members are Helped by Support

Mood disorders have a profound impact on lives. This impact is not limited to the person with the illness, but also affects family members (especially spouses), loved ones, significant others, relatives, close friends, employers and co-workers as well. Living with a person with a mood disorder can be every bit as difficult and painful as actually having the disorder. This is a fact many persons with a mood disorder do not realize.

It is valuable to be able to share that you are hurting with people who understand. The only ones who do honestly understand are others in a similar situation to yours—the people at a DBSA peer-led, illness-specific, self-help support group. It is important to know you are not alone, that you are not the only one suffering.

You deserve your own mental health.
Living with a person with a mood disorder can be so turbulent, stressful, and difficult that you, too, can suffer from depression. If you loose your own mental health because of a loved one’s disorder, you loose your ability to help them. As a family member, it is paramount that you are able to maintain your own balanced mental health. Being able to share problems, set-backs and frustrations in a DBSA support group and learning from other’s experiences can be a significant asset to maintaining your own mental health stability.

You deserve perspective.
In a support group meeting, you will typically find people who have it harder than you do. You will also discover the wide variation in mood disorders and how unique to the individual each is. At a meeting, you can also begin to understand how the illness affects your loved one and how it alters their outlook on life.

You deserve encouragement.
Having a loved one with a mood disorder cannot only be discouraging, but is of ten fraught with setbacks and rough stretches where all seems lost. A DBSA peer group can be there when you need a boost to keep on going or reassurance to stay on track. And it ’s not just those who are new to having a family member with a mood disorder that need encouragement, the “old pros” need it too.

Family Members are Helped by Education

Become an informed and educated consumer.
As a family member of someone with a mood disorder, it often falls to you to make sure your loved one is receiving the best care. It is helpful if you become familiar with medical terminology. Like it or not, you have entered a world of obscure, difficult to understand, uncommon language. If you become familiar with enough of this language, it becomes easier to understand and communicate with the medical professionals and therapists you and your loved one will encounter.

Give input to the medical professionals.
Doctors need input from family members. They need more than just the reports of the patient to know if or how well their prescribed treatment is working. It is very common for patients to not be fully open with their doctors, and if they are in a manic state, they may unintentionally lie about it. The doctor needs your input and you will need experience to know how to give that input and effectively participate in a therapeutic alliance with your loved one and their doctor and therapist.

Learn to know what “well” is.
As a family member, you will recognize subtle mood changes before your loved one does — it just works that way. It is also hard for many people with a mood disorder to know when they are well. They may be somewhat better, but are they all they can be? Your perspective can aid them in knowing if they are “back” yet, or if they have reached a plateau before reaching “full wellness.”

Varied information from a balanced and wide array of sources is helpful.
A single source of information, regardless of how accurate, will never provide you with a full picture. The decisions you will need to make should not be based on a single information source, but a well balanced consensus from a variety of quality sources. These sources include your loved one’s doctor and therapist, medical textbooks, journals, articles and research studies, selfhelp and other books, and the experiences of peers. A DBSA group is your best option for experienced peers—being peer-led and illness specific, they focus on depression and bipolar disorders. Many groups have a wealth of information from national DBSA and other sources available at meetings, on web sites, and through newsletters. Fellow family members may have already identified the most relevant sources of information, which can shortcut your search and focus your effort.

Why might you as a family member of someone with a mood disorder need support and education? The primary reason is simply because you want to help your loved one. Not to just be aware of the illness, but provide the best help you can—and that takes effort, diligence, dedication, and the support and education you find at a peerled, illness specific DBSA support group.

If you get the help you need, you can transition from being a victim of your loved one’s disorder into a supportive and informed advocate. In addition to quality medical and psychological treatment, being an educated, informed and supportive advocate is the next best and most effective thing you as an individual can do to help your loved one.

Why Families Need Help When They Have a Loved One With a Mood Disorder is co-authored by Bill Thielker and Cynthia Bang, LCSW and produced by Depression and Bipolar Support Allianc eof Greater Omaha. It is for informational purposes only and not intended as a substitute for qualified professional care.